Relating@Work Reality Check - "It Couldn't Be Me!"

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Lora,

Again, I can't thank you enough for continuing to help expose me to new ideas, or trains of thought, or just plain restructure my way of thinking. Your the best, and I continue to send your communications to our Chapter. Thank you, I appreciate you, and you make a difference in my life, both personal and professional.

Mark Modders

Relating@Work Reality Check - "It Couldn't Be Me!"

When relationships break down or get tense we often attribute responsibility to "the other person". Take this quick reality check to see if perhaps you could be part of the problem.

Read each statement below. Answer "YES" if the statement is true for you. After you finish scroll down to the bottom of the page to check your results.

1	It's easier for me to just avoid people who are difficult to work with
2	I put off responding to calls and emails depending on how I feel about the person
3	I often hear myself saying things like "Don't take this wrong, but…" or "No offense, but…"
4	I often feel like the people I work with just don't understand me
5	I spend way too much time clarifying misunderstandings
6	Things are always changing, I feel like people are always asking too much of me
7	When I disagree I make sure people know how I feel
8	People ask me too many questions, I feel like they don't trust me
9	When I get home from work I often feel like I've been through a war
10	Sometimes I have to cut people off or interrupt them to get them to listen to me
11	I have been "called on the carpet" for inappropriate comments I've made
12	Sometimes it's just easier to "keep my head down" so people will leave me alone
13	When I attend a meeting I always take something else to do
14	When I know that I'm right I'll fight till the end
15	I believe that "turnabout is fair play"
16	People I work with, or customers have complained about something I said, something I did or didn't do
17	It doesn't really matter to me what other people think
18	Sometimes I just need to get tough to get my point across
19	I know right away when something will or will not work
20	I have difficulty supporting direction or decisions I don't believe in

Now tally the number of times you answered, "YES".

0 – 2 Congratulations! You understand that it takes personal responsibility, self-management, and initiative to create extraordinary business relationships. People with skills like yours have successful careers and are valuable assets to business.

3 – 5 Caution! While you may have gotten away with your behavior in the past, the same behavior won't be tolerated in the future. Complacency, conflict, tension and a win/lose mindsets result in significant losses to careers and business. Choose to change now or get ready to change careers.

6 – 20 Danger! It's time to get a grasp on the fact that business is all about people serving people. It's NOT about people serving themselves. The reality is…people who think and behave in these ways constantly struggle and often fail because they don't relate to their customers or their colleagues. Keep your resume handy and up to date.